Mother's Day
by Breakfast of Champions
Summary: Yeah, well, you look like a freakin Patrat.


**A/N: I based this off some video I saw a long time ago 'cause I'm retarded.**

Ah, spring. It's the season of rebirth and new beginnings, and the season of quite a few important holidays. Ah, yes, spring. So peaceful. So lovely. It makes us wish it would end sooner it's so disgustingly annoying.

One person who actually loved spring in particular was a young, green-haired man named N. It was the perfect time of year to go pester Hilbert, but he had already started doing that a while ago, every day. Also, every spring, N would wonder if he had any siblings, and if their names were from A to Z in the alphabet. Maybe he had even more than that, starting from Alpha to Omega. Ghetsis sure was a player and-

Oh, nevermind.

N was at Hilbert's house, cleaning up for Hilbert's mom while she was out since N was the only one who pretty much enjoyed all the mom duties of the household. Hilbert did respect his mom, but Christ, give that boy a dirty dish and it'd probably grow mold somewhere under his bed. Earlier, Hilbert mentioned a special day called "Mother's Day" to N, something N had never heard of, obviously.

"Oh? Mother's Day? Is it a day that belongs to your mom?" N had asked, confused about this "day of mothers" Hilbert had mentioned. "Oh! Oh! Can I be a mom so I can have my own day of the year, too?"

"_What._ No. For fuck's sake, no. That's not what it is," Hilbert sighed in discontent having to explain yet another holiday to N. Just wait until Father's Day; that ought to be one hell of a fun time, he thought to himself. "Mother's Day is just a day to appreciate your mom and all the special things she does for you. Since, you know, _you're adopted_, you can give my mom a gift this year. Just don't fuck it up and give her something like we did last Christmas, got it?" Hilbert walked off to his room where he'd spend the rest of the day trying to stay away from N.

"Oh! Okay! I will do something special for—hey, wait a minute! I'm... I'm not adopted!" N pouted and put his hands on his hips, all fat and sassy, only without the fat part.

* * *

><p>About thirty minutes passed since N was done with cleaning and was trying to set up something special for Hilbert's mother. He stole a suit from Hilbert's downstairs closet, went into the bathroom to change, and once he was finished with all other things that had to be set up, he called for Hilbert to come downstairs.<p>

"Hilbert! Hilbert! Come downstairs!"

All that was heard was a huge groan from upstairs, then it went completely silent. N wondered what was going on, so he kept calling for Hilbert. He had to be compliant, since N knew things Hilbert did not.

"We're taking a picture for mom, Hilbert! Get downstairs!" N exclaimed, getting a chair set up and a few other things arranged so everything was perfect.

"What picture? And for who? You don't have a mom!" Hilbert shouted from upstairs, opening his bedroom door to make sure N could hear him.

"It's a picture for _your_ mom! Get downstairs, now!" N ordered, getting to a point where he might have to bribe Hilbert just to come downstairs.

Nothing was heard, except making a few pounds and bangs from upstairs. N shouted one more time, "C'MON! GET DOWNSTAIRS, _NOW-"_

"Damn, man, I'm here. Stop your shouting," Hilbert grumbled as he walked in the room, setting down his soda can on the chair N had set up and looking around, seeing that there really was a camera set up to take a picture.

"Alright, so, now we have to take a picture for your mom for Mother's Da-" N looked at Hilbert in disgust as he approached him. Hilbert was wearing plaid boxers and a shirt one size too large saying, "FUCK THE ELITE", and even N knew that wasn't acceptable for a special picture.

"What're you lookin' at, green fuzzball?" Hilbert questioned, raising an eyebrow over N's serious expression. He hadn't seen N this serious since they battled at his castle.

"Put on a tie," N demanded, picking up Hilbert's soda bottle and setting it somewhere else out of the picture area.

"This is fine. It's just a t-shirt and there's no way I'm-"

"PUT ON A TIE!" a furious N yelled at the top of his lungs, pointing him towards the downstairs closet where he himself found a suit to wear for the photo.

"FINE!" Hilbert shouted and stormed off, N seeming rather pleased that Hilbert was finally being obedient.

After sitting down in the chair, N heard Hilbert coming back. He closed his eyes in content and tried to imagine a perfect picture of the two of them for Hilbert's mother. How lovely it would be!

Hilbert trudged over slowly as he could, hesitating as he watched N biting his nails and picking his nose. Hilbert wondered why the hell he just didn't get a restraining order on this manchild. "Okay, let's get this over with," he said as monotonously as he could, getting behind N.

"So! I'll set up the camera to a timed picture taking setting and-" As N turned around, Hilbert was just staring blankly at the camera, wearing a tie... but over his FUCK THE ELITE shirt, still wearing his boxers.

All N could do was punch Hilbert in his chest, back into the wall and scream for him to put on nicer clothing or else.

* * *

><p>Hilbert came back, finally having a a nice shirt and a better-adjusted tie than before. N was setting up the camera again, and sat down on the chair, waving his hand to get Hilbert in closer.<p>

"Hilbert, you have to get in closer. You're not in the frame," N said, looking back to the camera and Hilbert to check how far out of the frame Hilbert really was.

"_You're_ not in the frame..." Hilbert griped as he adjusted his tie and his sleeve cuffs, not giving the slightest damn about the whole thing. Couldn't they have made cards with hearts made out of macaroni?

"No, seriously, Hilbert, you're not in the frame and-"

"Fuck you, N. Why do you want me so close to you, anyway?" Hilbert finally looked up, frustrated over N's antics.

"...I want you...i-in the picture's...frame so your mom can see you-"

"PFFFBBBTTT," Hilbert interrupted N, increasing his volume of voice as he spoke. "'Oh, oh! Happy Mother's Day, mom! N wants me humping his shoulder!' Yeah, I'd get the weirdest boner, man!"

N soon tackled Hilbert, sending the two to the ground, N surprisingly stronger than usual. After Hilbert called 'uncle' and gave up, they both got up and got into a practice position for the photo. Hilbert was _just_ as close as N _wanted_ him to be.

* * *

><p>"Okay, setting it for five seconds..." N muttered as he fussed with the camera and Hilbert adjusted everything else to he looked "perfect" so N would stop complaining.<p>

"Go!" N rushed over to sit down, grinning as brightly and cutely as he could, while Hilbert made an awkward smile.

The picture was finally taken, and N ran over to the camera to see how it turned out, all giggly as a school girl whose skirt blew upwards in the wind.

"Okay, we're going to have to retake it. Try to smile next time..." N said as he observed the picture that was on the camera.

"...I smiled last time..." Hilbert rolled his eyes, his patience getting thinner each second.

"Yeah, well, you look like a freakin' Patrat," N answered, deleting the picture.

"...A _what_?" Hilbert asked, irritated that N said he looked like a rodent.

As N sat back down, Hilbert made his teeth "bucked" and even more rodent looking, put his hands up like a Patrat would, widened his eyes, got closer to N, and soon the picture was taken. Hilbert thought it would piss off N enough to make him stop this ridiculousness, but only half of that ended up working.

Soon, Hilbert was rolling on the floor in the fetal position, with a throbbing pain in his stomach from being punched that hard.

* * *

><p>"Okay, let's try this again," a giddy, persistent N ordered as he sat down and grinned as wide as he could. Hilbert smiled less awkwardly this time, and looked a lot more badass, but N kept double-taking to him and the camera.<p>

"...What? Do I have some of your shedding hair on my face?" Hilbert asked half-sarcastically.

"Oh, no! I set the picture to 10 seconds this time and was making sure you don't look silly this time!" N assured Hilbert, as he looked back at the camera. As the last few seconds were remaining, Hilbert punched N in the face with the least amount of expression as he possibly could.

Seconds later, N chased down Hilbert who ran in the bathroom and locked the door

"Come out of the bathroom!" N demanded as he banged on the door repeatedly.

"Put down the yard stick!" Hilbert shrieked, afraid to be beaten to death if he got out of his safe domain.

* * *

><p>"I'm taking the picture myself! And you won't have a nice gift for your mom!" N taunted as Hilbert refused to get out of the bathroom, staying quiet.<p>

Moments passed, and N sat there, worried that everything was ruined. He pleaded for Hilbert to come back, whining, "...please come out of the bathroom and take the picture one last time?"

Hilbert got out of the bathroom, storming into the living room. N looked excited, as Hilbert got behind him very annoyed over the whole thing. "One picture. Just _one_ more picture, and you don't bug me the rest of the day and you don't stay past 6 this evening."

"A-as if I'd want to!" N taunted, sad and slightly offended by what Hilbert said, but was willing to listen to him.

"Good. Goddamn," Hilbert grumbled as he adjusted his tie one more time.

N began to set the camera to 10 seconds again, and replied, "Yeah—good. Good!"

As N sat down, Hilbert stood there smiling, almost slightly smug, and N grinned widely once again. At the very few last seconds, Hilbert exclaimed, "Hey! Hold up!"

N growled, turned around with his hands in and air, and shouted, "WHAT?" Soon after, the picture was taken, and Hilbert grabbed the camera and dashed upstairs to lock himself in his room. N chased after him with the yard stick again, but Hilbert pushed him down the stairs so N wouldn't catch up to him.


End file.
